| the surrealism that it is 2009 is starting to dismantle itself. i've been reflecting on the past 10 years of my life. where i have been how i have changed. 1999 i was 7th grade, i don't think i was that deep of a person. maybe i was. my memory of my past has always been kind of fuzzy. i suppose its that i have always lived one day at a time, plan ahead for tomorrow and you'll lose what is happening today. reflecting on yesterday will only instill moments of nostalgia. don't know where i was going with that.. still tired and sore and achy from tuesday, and wensday my training crash-course. blah.. i was really feelin this entry when i started.. now i'm just depressed with it. adios
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| what's going on xanga, still been an uneventful 2 some months here at the home front.. juggling what to do. join military to just be done with it and sacrifice any relationship here as it seems to me. or hunt for a job which will be a equally rough journey. to be honest there aren't that many people left in the bubble that i care for anymore. i could be just as happy with new beginnings elsewhere. i want to say something cliche like my eyes are open finally.. or i can see the truth. but i wont... i will only reference them like i just did.i wish to just be able to get a good job and just do it. get out on my own as i would be able to do so on my own terms none of this relying on 'friends' bullshit that i have done far too often. i will have to rely on my own strength, i will grasp my own destiny with my own two hands, i will laugh at those fools who get it handed to them. i will be strong, i promise that upon my own soul.
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